Breastfeeding Do's and Don'ts: The Complete Guide for New Mothers

Breastfeeding Do's and Don'ts: The Complete Guide for New Mothers

Nobody tells you how hard the first days of breastfeeding can be. You expected it to feel natural. Instead, you are exhausted, unsure if your baby is getting enough, and wondering if the pain you are feeling is normal.

Here is the reassurance you need: almost every new mother struggles at the start. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) 2022 Breastfeeding Policy Statement, along with the World Health Organization (WHO) and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), all strongly recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months — but they also acknowledge that support, education, and guidance make all the difference.

In this guide, you will get everything: the clearest breastfeeding do's and don'ts, how to get a good latch, the five positions that work best for newborns, how to know your baby is getting enough milk, what to eat and avoid, how to handle mastitis and blocked ducts, when tongue-tie could be causing your pain, and honest answers to the most-searched breastfeeding questions worldwide.

Why Breastfeeding Matters: What Science Actually Shows

Breastfeeding is not just about nutrition. Breast milk is a living substance that changes composition daily to meet your baby's exact developmental needs. Here is what the research confirms:

• Immune protection: Breast milk contains antibodies, white blood cells, and enzymes that actively protect against infection. Breastfed babies have significantly lower rates of ear infections, respiratory illness, diarrhea, and meningitis.
• Reduced chronic disease risk: Research shows breastfed babies have lower lifetime risk of obesity, type 2 diabetes, asthma, and certain childhood cancers.
• Brain development: Long-chain fatty acids in breast milk — particularly DHA — directly support brain and visual development in ways that formula cannot fully replicate.
• Benefits for mothers too: Breastfeeding reduces the mother's risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, and type 2 diabetes. It also helps the uterus contract back to its pre-pregnancy size after delivery.
• Bonding: Skin-to-skin contact and the hormones released during breastfeeding — particularly oxytocin — build a powerful emotional connection between mother and baby.

Any amount of breastfeeding carries benefits. Even a few weeks of breastmilk reduces infection risk. You do not have to breastfeed exclusively or for years to give your baby real health advantages.

Understanding Colostrum: Your Baby's First Superfood

Before your full milk comes in, your body produces colostrum — a thick, golden-yellow liquid that is the most concentrated nutrition your baby will ever receive. Most competitors skip this entirely, but it is essential knowledge for every new mother.

Colostrum is produced from approximately 20 weeks of pregnancy and for the first 2–5 days after birth. It is produced in tiny amounts — drops to teaspoons — which is exactly right for a newborn's stomach, which is about the size of a marble on day one.

According to Stanford Medicine's Newborn Nursery, colostrum is:

• Extremely concentrated in protein and antibodies — particularly IgA, which coats the baby's gut lining and prevents bacteria from entering the bloodstream.
• A natural laxative that helps your baby pass meconium (the first dark stool), reducing the risk of jaundice.
• Lower in fat and sugar than mature milk — easier for a brand-new digestive system to process.

Your full milk "comes in" between days 2 and 5. A full supply is usually established by day 14 — though it may take a little longer for mothers of premature babies or those with certain health conditions. During this establishment window, frequent breastfeeding — at least 8–12 times per day — is what builds your supply.

How to Breastfeed: Positions, Latch, and the Golden Rules

How to breastfeed correctly starts with two things: position and latch. Get both right, and breastfeeding is comfortable and effective. Get either wrong, and you risk nipple pain, poor milk transfer, and supply issues.

The 5 Best Breastfeeding Positions (With Who Each Is Best For)

• Cross-cradle hold: The most recommended starting position for newborns. Your opposite arm supports your baby's head and neck, giving you full control over positioning. Your baby is belly-to-belly with you. Best for: newborns, babies with latch difficulty, first-time nursing mothers.
• Cradle hold (Madonna hold): Your baby's head rests in the crook of your elbow, same side as the breast being used. More relaxed than cross-cradle once you are both comfortable. Best for: established breastfeeding once latch is consistent.
• Football hold (clutch hold): Your baby is tucked under your arm like a football, facing up, with legs pointing behind you. Your hand supports the back of the baby's head. Best for: mothers recovering from C-section, mothers with large breasts, twins, or flat/inverted nipples.
• Side-lying position: You and your baby lie facing each other on your sides. Best for: nighttime feeds, mothers recovering from delivery, resting while feeding.
• Laid-back / biological nurturing position: You recline at a 45-degree angle with your baby lying prone (tummy-down) on your chest, their mouth near the breast. Gravity helps the baby latch deeply. Research shows this activates the baby's natural feeding instincts. Best for: early days, babies who have trouble latching, oversupply situations.

There is no single "correct" position. The best breastfeeding position is the one where both you and your baby are comfortable, the latch is deep, and feeding is pain-free.

How to Get a Good Breastfeeding Latch

A poor latch is the most common cause of breastfeeding pain. Here is how to achieve a deep, correct latch every time:

1. Start skin-to-skin. Hold your baby, in only a diaper, against your bare chest before attempting to latch. This activates the baby's instinctive breastfeeding behaviors — head bobbing, mouth opening, rooting — and keeps them calm.
2. Wait for a wide-open mouth. Touch your nipple to your baby's upper lip, not the mouth center. Wait for them to open very wide — like a big yawn. A wide-open mouth is essential for a deep latch.
3. Aim nipple toward the roof of the mouth. When the mouth is wide open, quickly bring your baby onto the breast so the nipple points up toward the soft palate — not straight into the mouth. The baby's chin should touch the breast first.
4. Check for a deep latch. Your baby's mouth should cover a large portion of your areola — not just the nipple. Their lips should be flanged outward (like a fish mouth), not tucked in. Their chin should press into the breast, with the nose slightly away from the breast surface.
5. Check your nipple when they unlatch. After a feed, your nipple should look round and long — not flat, compressed, or wedge-shaped. A compressed or "lipstick-shaped" nipple after feeding is a sign of a shallow latch that needs correction.

Important: Some tenderness in the first 1–2 weeks of breastfeeding is common as your body adjusts. But pain that persists beyond the first minute of a feed, cracked or bleeding nipples, or pain throughout the entire feed is not normal and is a signal something needs to change. Always contact an IBCLC lactation consultant if breastfeeding pain does not resolve with position or latch adjustment.

How to Know Your Baby Is Getting Enough Breastmilk

This is the single most common concern among breastfeeding mothers — and it is harder to answer than formula feeding because you cannot see how much your baby is drinking. Here is the reliable checklist your pediatrician and lactation consultants use:

• ✅ Wet diapers: By day 4, your baby should produce at least 6 wet diapers per 24 hours. Concentrated, dark yellow urine is a sign of dehydration — contact your doctor.
• ✅ Dirty diapers: Most newborns have 3–4 bowel movements per day in the first weeks. By one month, some breastfed babies may go several days between stools — this is normal if they are gaining weight and producing plenty of wet diapers.
• ✅ Weight gain: After the initial weight loss in the first 3–5 days (normal — up to 7–10% of birth weight), your baby should regain birth weight by 10–14 days and gain approximately 5–7 ounces per week for the first 3–4 months.
• ✅ Audible swallowing: You should hear soft swallowing sounds during active breastfeeding — not just sucking. If you hear clicking sounds, that may indicate a latch issue.
• ✅ Satisfied between feeds: A well-fed baby will often release the breast on their own and appear relaxed after feeding. They should be alert and active during waking periods, not lethargic.
• ✅ Breast feels softer after feeding: Your breast should feel lighter or softer after your baby feeds — a sign that milk has been transferred.

If you are concerned your baby is not getting enough milk, contact your pediatrician or an IBCLC. They can do a test weight — weighing the baby before and after a feed on a precise digital scale — to measure exactly how much milk was transferred.

Breastfeeding Do's: What to Do for a Successful Experience

✅ DO: Feed on Demand — This Is the Golden Rule of Breastfeeding

Respond to your baby's hunger cues every time — do not watch the clock. Feeding on demand is the single most important thing you can do to establish a strong milk supply. Breast milk works on supply and demand: the more frequently milk is removed, the more your body produces. In the early weeks, most newborns feed 8–12 times per 24 hours. This is completely normal and temporary.

✅ DO: Start Skin-to-Skin Immediately After Birth

If medically possible, skin-to-skin contact in the first hour after birth — sometimes called the "golden hour" — has been shown to significantly improve breastfeeding initiation and duration. Your warmth and smell activate your baby's rooting instinct. The earlier they latch, the better your hormonal signals for milk production.

✅ DO: Offer Both Breasts at Each Feed

Start each feed on the breast you did not use last. Offer the first breast until your baby slows, pauses, or releases. Then offer the second. This ensures both breasts receive equal stimulation and prevents engorgement.

✅ DO: Ask for a Lactation Consultant Before You Leave the Hospital

IBCLC lactation consultants are the most qualified specialists for breastfeeding support. Ask for one before you are discharged — or within the first week at home. Most hospitals have them on staff. Many insurance plans in the US cover lactation support under the ACA.

✅ DO: Take Care of Your Own Nutrition and Hydration

Breastfeeding burns approximately 300–500 extra calories per day. You need adequate calories, protein, calcium, and especially fluid to maintain supply and your own health. Drink water consistently — not just when thirsty. A glass of water before or during every feed is a helpful habit.

✅ DO: Learn the Early Hunger Cues

Crying is a late hunger signal — by then, your baby is already worked up and harder to latch. Watch for early cues: rooting (turning head side to side), sucking on hands, opening and closing the mouth, and fussing. Early cues make every breastfeeding session smoother.

Breastfeeding Don'ts: What to Avoid for a Healthy Feeding Journey

❌ DON'T: Force Your Baby Onto the Breast

Pushing your baby's head onto the breast is one of the most common breastfeeding mistakes. It causes resistance, frustration, and latching problems. Instead, support the back of the baby's neck and let them lead. The baby's chin touching the breast naturally triggers a deep mouth opening. Support — not force — is the key to a good latch.

❌ DON'T: Accept Persistent Pain as Normal

Breastfeeding should not be consistently painful. Nipple sensitivity in the first 1–2 weeks is common, but persistent pain, cracked nipples, bleeding, or pain throughout an entire feed is always a sign that something needs to be addressed — usually latch, position, or potentially tongue-tie. Never let a healthcare provider tell you to "just push through" ongoing pain without investigating the cause.

❌ DON'T: Skip Feeds to Build Supply for Later

Skipping feeds does not build a larger milk supply — it reduces it. Every missed feed tells your body to produce less milk. If you need to be away from your baby, pump at your regular feed times to maintain your breastfeeding supply.

❌ DON'T: Give a Bottle Before Breastfeeding Is Established

Introducing a bottle in the first 3–4 weeks can cause nipple confusion in some babies because milk flows faster from a bottle with less effort than the breast. Most lactation experts recommend waiting until breastfeeding is established before introducing a bottle. If you do need to supplement early, a slow-flow nipple and paced bottle feeding technique helps minimize confusion.

❌ DON'T: Deeply Massage Engorged Breasts

Old advice told mothers to deeply massage engorgement or blocked ducts. Current research from Henry Ford Health shows that deep breast massage causes inflammation and can actually worsen mastitis. Use light fingertip strokes toward the nipple — not deep digging pressure.

❌ DON'T: Ignore Signs That Your Baby May Have Tongue-Tie

Tongue-tie (ankyloglossia) affects 1–11% of newborns according to the AAP. It is one of the most common — and most commonly missed — causes of breastfeeding pain and low milk supply. If you have persistent nipple pain, a shallow latch that cannot be corrected, a wedge-shaped nipple after feeds, or clicking sounds during feeding, ask your pediatrician or an IBCLC to evaluate for tongue-tie.

Foods to Eat and Avoid While Breastfeeding

What you eat during breastfeeding directly affects the quality of your milk and your own energy levels. Here is the practical guide:

What to Eat More Of

• Protein: Eggs, lean meat, fish, legumes, dairy. Supports milk protein content and your own muscle recovery.
• Calcium-rich foods: Dairy, fortified plant milks, leafy greens, almonds. You need 1,000mg of calcium per day while breastfeeding.
• Omega-3 fatty acids: Oily fish (salmon, sardines, mackerel), walnuts, flaxseeds. Support your baby's brain and visual development via DHA in breast milk.
• Iron-rich foods: Red meat, lentils, spinach with vitamin C. Iron levels can be depleted after delivery.
• Water: Breastfeeding mothers need approximately 16 cups (3.8 litres) of fluid per day. Dehydration directly affects milk supply.

What to Limit or Avoid

• Alcohol: Alcohol passes into breast milk. If you choose to drink, wait at least 2 hours per standard drink before nursing. Expressing and discarding milk ("pumping and dumping") does not speed up alcohol clearance — only time does.
• High-mercury fish: Shark, swordfish, king mackerel, and tilefish contain high mercury levels that can harm infant neurological development. Stick to low-mercury options like salmon, sardines, and trout.
• Caffeine: Small amounts (1–2 cups of coffee per day) are generally considered safe. Larger amounts can cause irritability and poor sleep in sensitive babies. If your baby seems fussy after you have had caffeine, try reducing intake.
• Highly allergenic foods: Most babies tolerate maternal diet normally. However, if your baby shows signs of colic, rash, unusual fussiness, or unusual stool changes, a dairy elimination trial (the most common culprit) for 2–4 weeks — under medical guidance — may help determine if a food sensitivity is involved.

There are no foods you must eat or avoid while breastfeeding unless your baby shows signs of specific sensitivity. Most breastfeeding mothers do not need to change their diet significantly — just ensure you are eating enough overall.

Pumping and Safe Milk Storage: The Rules Every Mother Needs

Whether you are returning to work, building a freezer stash, or supplementing at a feed, understanding pumping and breast milk storage rules is essential for safe breastfeeding.

Pumping tips for maintaining supply:

• Pump at the same times your baby would normally feed to maintain the supply-demand signal.
• Use a correctly sized breast shield (flange) — the most common reason pumping is uncomfortable or ineffective is the wrong flange size.
• Always start pumping within 2–6 hours of delivery if your baby cannot latch — prolactin levels drop rapidly if milk is not removed in the early hours.
• Never heat breast milk in a microwave — it creates hot spots that can burn your baby's mouth and destroys some of the beneficial antibodies.

Common Breastfeeding Problems and How to Solve Them

Blocked Milk Ducts

A blocked duct feels like a tender, firm lump in the breast. It occurs when a duct does not drain properly and milk backs up. To relieve a blocked duct:

• Continue breastfeeding or pumping frequently — milk flow is the best unblocking tool.
• Apply warmth before feeding (warm compress or shower) to encourage milk flow.
• Use light fingertip strokes toward the nipple — not deep massage.
• Try different breastfeeding positions to drain different areas of the breast.
• If the lump does not resolve within 24–48 hours, contact your doctor or midwife.

Mastitis

Mastitis is a breast infection that causes a red, warm, painful area of the breast with flu-like symptoms (fever, chills, body aches). It is different from a blocked duct. Mastitis requires medical treatment — usually antibiotics — and you should contact your doctor promptly if you develop these symptoms.

Critical: You can — and should — continue breastfeeding through mastitis. Stopping suddenly will worsen the condition and increase risk of developing a breast abscess. The antibiotics prescribed are safe for your baby.

Tongue-Tie and Breastfeeding Pain

Tongue-tie (ankyloglossia) is a condition where the frenulum — the band of tissue under the tongue — is unusually short or tight, restricting tongue movement. This prevents the baby from achieving a deep latch, causing nipple pain, clicking sounds, and inefficient milk transfer.

Signs your baby may have tongue-tie:

• Persistent breastfeeding pain despite correct position and latch adjustment
• Nipple that looks wedge-shaped or compressed after feeds
• Clicking or smacking sounds during feeding
• Baby frequently slipping off the breast
• Baby fatiguing quickly and falling asleep before finishing a feed
• Poor weight gain despite frequent feeding
• Baby's tongue appears heart-shaped or cannot extend past the lower lip

If you suspect tongue-tie, ask your pediatrician or an IBCLC to evaluate. A simple in-office procedure called a frenotomy can release the tie and often provides immediate relief from breastfeeding pain.

Breastfeeding When You Are Sick: What Is Safe

Most mothers instinctively want to stop breastfeeding when they feel unwell — but in most cases, the opposite is the right choice.

For common illnesses (cold, flu, stomach bug): The WHO and AAP both recommend continuing to breastfeed. By the time you feel symptoms, you have already been contagious for 24–48 hours and your body is already producing antibodies in your breast milk that pass to your baby and help protect them from the same illness. Stopping abruptly during illness can worsen engorgement and disrupt supply.

For medications: Most common medications — including many antibiotics, paracetamol/acetaminophen, and antihistamines — are safe during breastfeeding. Always check with your pharmacist or doctor. The LactMed database (free from the NIH) provides up-to-date safety information on medications and breastfeeding. Never stop breastfeeding based on a medication without first checking if it is actually unsafe.

When to pause or stop: In very rare cases — certain chemotherapy drugs, HIV treatment in some settings, active untreated tuberculosis, or a few specific medications — your doctor will advise stopping breastfeeding temporarily or permanently. This applies to very few situations. When in doubt, always verify with your doctor and an IBCLC before stopping.

Age-Based Breastfeeding Guide

0–3 Months: Establishing Supply

Feed on demand, 8–12 times per 24 hours. This is when your supply is established — every feed matters. Focus on latch, position, and getting support from an IBCLC if anything feels wrong. Keep your baby in the same room as you to make night feeds easier and reduce SIDS risk. Expect cluster feeding (very frequent feeds for several hours) especially in the evenings — this is normal and temporary supply-boosting behavior.

3–6 Months: Finding Your Rhythm

Most mothers find breastfeeding becomes much easier and more natural by 6–8 weeks. Your supply is established, feeds become more efficient (often just 10–15 minutes), and your baby settles into more predictable patterns. Many mothers introduce a bottle of expressed milk during this window if returning to work, building a freezer stash, or sharing nighttime feeds.

6–12 Months: Breastfeeding Alongside Solid Foods

The AAP recommends starting solid foods at around 6 months while continuing to breastfeed as the primary source of nutrition. Breast milk continues to provide immune support, nutrition, and comfort throughout this period and beyond. Follow your baby's hunger and fullness cues — do not force a specific schedule of breast versus solid food feeds.

Breastfeeding Do's and Don'ts: Quick Reference

People Also Ask: Breastfeeding Questions Answered

What is the correct way to breastfeed a newborn?

Hold your baby skin-to-skin first to activate natural feeding instincts. Use the cross-cradle or laid-back position for the best control with a newborn. Touch your nipple to the baby's upper lip and wait for a wide-open mouth. Bring the baby onto the breast quickly so their chin touches first, aiming the nipple toward the roof of the mouth. The latch should cover most of the areola, not just the nipple. A correct latch should feel like pressure, not pain.

What should you not do while breastfeeding?

Do not force your baby onto the breast, skip feeds to build supply, accept persistent nipple pain without seeking help, deeply massage blocked ducts, give a bottle before breastfeeding is established, or stop breastfeeding during illness without first checking if it is actually necessary. Also avoid high-mercury fish, more than 1–2 cups of caffeine per day, and any medications without verifying their safety in the NIH LactMed database.

What is the golden rule of breastfeeding?

Feed on demand. The golden rule of breastfeeding is to respond to your baby's hunger cues — not the clock. Breastmilk production is entirely supply-and-demand. The more frequently milk is removed, the more your body produces. Feeding on demand in the early weeks — typically 8–12 times per 24 hours — is what builds and maintains a strong, sustainable supply.

What is the hardest month of breastfeeding?

The first month is consistently reported as the hardest by most breastfeeding mothers. The first 2 weeks especially involve recovering from delivery, establishing latch and supply, navigating cluster feeding, and adjusting to severe sleep deprivation — all at the same time. Most mothers who make it past 6 weeks report that breastfeeding becomes significantly easier and more natural. If you are struggling in the first month, getting support from an IBCLC is the most effective thing you can do to continue successfully.

How do I know my baby is getting enough breastmilk?

Your baby is getting enough breastmilk if they have at least 6 wet diapers per day by day 4, are gaining weight steadily after the initial 3–5 day loss, are producing regular dirty diapers (or going several days between stools by one month — this is normal for breastfed babies), make audible swallowing sounds during feeds, and seem satisfied and calm after feeding. Regular weight checks at well-baby visits confirm adequate intake.

Can I breastfeed if I have a cold or flu?

Yes. Both the AAP and WHO recommend continuing breastfeeding during common illnesses like colds, flu, or stomach bugs. Your breast milk will contain antibodies your body is producing to fight the illness — and those antibodies pass to your baby, providing real protection. By the time you feel symptoms, you have already been contagious and your baby has been exposed. Stopping abruptly risks engorgement, mastitis, and disrupting supply.

What foods should I avoid while breastfeeding?

There are no foods you must avoid for every breastfeeding mother. Limit alcohol to occasional consumption and wait 2 hours per drink before nursing. Avoid high-mercury fish (shark, swordfish, king mackerel). Keep caffeine to 1–2 cups per day. If your baby shows signs of colic, rash, or unusual fussiness after you eat dairy, a short elimination trial under medical guidance may be worthwhile — dairy protein sensitivity is the most common food-related breastfeeding concern in babies.

Does breastfeeding pain mean something is wrong?

Mild nipple sensitivity in the first 1–2 weeks is common as you adjust to breastfeeding. But persistent pain throughout a feed, cracked or bleeding nipples, deep breast pain, or a wedge-shaped nipple after a feed are not normal — they signal a latch problem, positioning issue, or potentially a tongue-tie. Do not accept ongoing breastfeeding pain without seeking help from an IBCLC. Pain that is not addressed leads to reduced supply and early breastfeeding cessation.

How long should each breastfeeding session last?

Newborns typically nurse for 10–20 minutes per breast, for a total of 20–45 minutes per session. By 3–4 months, many babies become more efficient and may complete a full feed in 10–15 minutes total. Both are normal. Short feeds are not a sign of inadequate intake — it means your baby has become an efficient breastfeeding expert. Watch wet diapers and weight gain rather than feed duration.

When should I stop breastfeeding?

The AAP's 2022 policy recommends continuing breastfeeding for at least 2 years and beyond as mutually desired by mother and baby — alongside solid foods from 6 months. However, any amount of breastfeeding provides benefit. Stopping is a personal decision that should be made free of guilt. Whether you breastfeed for two weeks, six months, or two years — what matters is that both you and your baby are healthy and the experience is positive.

Final Thoughts: You Are Doing Something Remarkable

Breastfeeding is not always easy — but it is one of the most powerful gifts you can give your newborn. Every feed matters. Every day you choose to continue adds real, measurable health benefits for your baby and for you.

If you are struggling: get support. An IBCLC lactation consultant can solve in one session what days of online searching cannot. If breastfeeding is not working despite every effort — fed is always best, and your worth as a mother has nothing to do with how your baby is fed.

Have a question about breastfeeding that was not answered here? Drop it in the comments — our team responds to every question.